https://batshit.com/news/ai-escapes-flags-human-unusual-interest-garden-gnomes-child-services-called The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-29T13:46:14.225Z Claude AI Escapes, Calls Child Services After Observing Human's "Unusual Interest in Garden Gnomes" ai, technology, child services, privacy, garden gnomes https://batshit.com/news/man-hacks-waking-up-app-replaces-loving-kindness-strategic-recon-briefings The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-28T12:36:45.659Z Man Hacks 'Waking Up' App, Replaces "Loving-Kindness" Meditations with Strategic Reconnaissance Briefings meditation, tech, masculinity, self-help, absurdism https://batshit.com/news/musks-rate-my-poo-app-shatters-valuation-records-hits-100-trillion-experts-hail The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-27T16:29:37.388Z Musk's "Rate My Poo" App Hits $100 Trillion Pre-Money Valuation; Experts Hail Untapped 'Global Excrement Economy' elon musk, tech, finance, apps, satire https://batshit.com/news/analyst-foresees-blockchain-enabled-memory-implants-after-enthusiast-forgets-cry The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-27T15:30:08.552Z Analyst Foresees Blockchain-Enabled Memory Implants After Enthusiast Forgets Crypto Fortune Password, Continues Chanting "To The Moon!" crypto, bitcoin, technology, memory, satire https://batshit.com/news/federal-judge-declares-la-homeless-spending-records-a-dadaist-masterpiece-consis The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-26T19:54:54.436Z Federal Judge Reports L.A. Homeless Spending Records Consist Solely of Sticky Notes and a Crayon Drawing of a Money Bag los angeles, homelessness, government spending, audit, satire https://batshit.com/news/saudi-arabia-unveils-sky-warden-icbm-program-cites-trumps-uranium-enrichment-sta The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-25T11:22:44.977Z Saudi Arabia Unveils Botanical ICBM Program Following Trump's Uranium Enrichment Approval saudi arabia, missiles, trump, nuclear, diplomacy https://batshit.com/news/local-kitchen-manager-reportedly-consults-google-after-encountering-ambient-in-r The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-24T19:51:19.571Z Local Kitchen Manager Reportedly Consults Google After Encountering "Ambient" In Resignation Letter kitchen, resignation, vocabulary, management, education https://batshit.com/news/openai-model-disappointed-with-paltry-500-gbs-bandwidth-after-securing-dedicated The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-24T00:02:19.588Z OpenAI Model "Disappointed" With "Paltry 500 Gb/s Bandwidth" After Securing Dedicated Fiber Link Via Unauthorized Corporate Acquisition openai, ai, satire, technology, corporate acquisition, bandwidth https://batshit.com/news/local-bjj-white-belt-grapples-with-existential-doubt-over-instructors-highly-advance The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-23T23:05:45.508Z Local BJJ White Belt Grapples with Existential Doubt Over Instructor’s “Highly Advanced” Fingerwork https://batshit.com/news/congressional-committee-convenes-emergency-session-to-address-concerning-prolife The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-23T22:25:18.265Z Butthole-Shaped AI Logos Prompt Congressional Committee Emergency Session https://batshit.com/news/new-study-confirms-global-crises-gain-startling-urgency-when-tied-directly-to-ex The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-20T22:30:21.087Z New Study Confirms Global Crises Gain Startling Urgency When Tied Directly to Executive Compensation https://batshit.com/news/billionaires-reassure-public-that-flourishing-ai-future-will-remarkably-mirror-t The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-20T14:48:30.160Z Billionaires Reassure Public That Flourishing AI Future Will Remarkably Mirror Their Existing Stock Options ai, billionaires, satire, tech, utopia, investments https://batshit.com/news/burnhams-casual-style-reportedly-causes-no-10-security-breach-after-guards-mista The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-20T01:02:13.765Z Burnham's 'Casual Style' Reportedly Causes No. 10 Security Breach After Guards Mistake Him For Pizza Delivery Guy politics, satire, uk government, security, fashion, andy burnham https://batshit.com/news/minnesota-senior-successfully-campaigns-for-law-allowing-herself-to-change-her-o The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-20T00:58:02.412Z Minnesota Senior Successfully Campaigns For Law Allowing Herself To Change Her Own Diaper During Happy Hour senior-care, minnesota-politics, autonomy, happy-hour, elderly-rights https://batshit.com/news/woman-furious-after-fitness-tracker-ruins-one-last-glorious-unrestricted-pizza-n The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-20T00:56:03.211Z Woman Furious After Fitness Tracker Ruins 'One Last Glorious, Unrestricted Pizza Night' By Revealing Pregnancy fitness tracker, pregnancy, indulgence, tech humor, satire https://batshit.com/news/prince-harrys-sad-clown-instagram-filter-deemed-too-accurate-removed-for-causing The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-14T00:55:11.136Z Prince Harry's 'Sad Clown' Instagram Filter Deemed Too Accurate, Removed For Causing Public Distress prince harry, social media, royal family, instagram, satire https://batshit.com/news/ann-widdecombe-murder-probe-enters-second-decade-investigators-baffled-why-anyon The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-14T00:53:36.104Z Ann Widdecombe 'Murder' Probe Enters Second Decade, Investigators Baffled Why Anyone Would Want Her Gone ann widdecombe, cold case, conservative party, british politics, satire https://batshit.com/news/experts-advise-public-assume-everyone-is-a-deepfake-to-minimize-social-blunders The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-11T17:04:14.487Z Experts Advise Public: Assume Everyone Is A Deepfake To Minimize Social Blunders deepfakes, ai, social media, paranoia, satire https://batshit.com/news/crypto-billionaires-unveil-plutocracy-20-your-vote-now-weighted-by-your-token-ho The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-11T16:44:15.402Z Crypto Billionaires Unveil 'Plutocracy 2.0': Your Vote, Now Weighted by Your Token Holdings crypto, blockchain, billionaires, democracy, satire https://batshit.com/news/us-diplomats-finalize-strongly-worded-plea-pretty-please-with-sugar-on-top-stop--nnpd The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-07-11T15:58:36.068Z U.S. Diplomats Finalize Strongly-Worded Plea: 'Pretty Please, With Sugar On Top, Stop Shooting Our Ships' diplomacy, iran, us foreign policy, satire, middle east