https://batshit.com/news/i-cannot-undo-what-i-have-done-nvda-ceo-takes-full-responsibility-for-signing-br The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-11-09T13:44:39.629Z “I Cannot Undo What I Have Done,” $NVDA CEO Takes Full Responsibility For Signing Bras With A Sharpie nvidia, tech, jensen huang, business https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/i-cannot-undo-what-i-have-done-nvda-ceo-takes-full-responsib-1794231731096.webpSatirical illustration: “I Cannot Undo What I Have Done,” $NVDA CEO Takes Full Responsibility For Signing Bras With A Sharpie https://batshit.com/news/dge-launches-desperate-one-bottle-17-cans-campaign The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-11-09T00:33:36.892Z Struggling $DGE Launches 'Algebra Vodka' With ‘One Bottle = 17 Cans’ Campaign alcohol, inflation, marketing, business https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/dge-launches-desperate-one-bottle-17-cans-campaign-1794247819073.webpSatirical illustration: Struggling $DGE Launches 'Algebra Vodka' With ‘One Bottle = 17 Cans’ Campaign https://batshit.com/news/chainalysis-updates-breach-notice-non-sensitive-data-wav-file-ciso-screaming The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-11-07T07:28:00.000Z Chainalysis Updates Breach Notice From “Some Non-Sensitive Data” to Just a .WAV File of CISO Screaming cybersecurity, data breach, tech, crypto https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/chainalysis-updates-breach-notice-non-sensitive-data-wav-fil-1794247834687.webpSatirical illustration: Chainalysis Updates Breach Notice From “Some Non-Sensitive Data” to Just a .WAV File of CISO Screaming https://batshit.com/news/waters-unveils-crypto-bill-drafted-with-wordperfect The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-11-06T12:59:12.136Z Waters Unveils Crypto Bill Drafted With WordPerfect crypto, maxine waters, congress, tech, legislation https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/waters-unveils-crypto-bill-drafted-with-wordperfect-1793969733095.webpSatirical illustration: Waters Unveils Crypto Bill Drafted With WordPerfect https://batshit.com/news/report-passive-income-anything-but-passive-income The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-11-05T14:13:56.279Z Report: Passive Real Estate Income Anything But Passive, Income real estate, passive income, work, personal finance https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/report-passive-income-anything-but-passive-income-1793887385857.webpSatirical illustration: Report: Passive Real Estate Income Anything But Passive, Income https://batshit.com/news/goldman-upgrades-subpoenas-to-strong-buy The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-11-04T13:59:32.698Z Goldman Upgrades Subpoenas To “Strong Buy” goldman sachs, congress, wall street, politics https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/goldman-upgrades-subpoenas-to-strong-buy-1793800506364.webpSatirical illustration: Goldman Upgrades Subpoenas To “Strong Buy” https://batshit.com/news/trump-pelosi-interrupt-election-coverage-to-ask-how-flipping-pennsylvania-affect The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-11-03T22:10:47.730Z Election Night Coverage Interrupted Every 4 Minutes So Candidates Can Check $INTC Price politics, elections, intel, investing https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/refine/52f7cd3f-12e0-402b-ac27-cb07cd04e3a2-1793743116810.webpSatirical illustration: Election Night Coverage Interrupted Every 4 Minutes So Candidates Can Check $INTC Price https://batshit.com/news/both-parties-warn-wrong-midterm-vote-could-trigger-another-year-of-spx-gains The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-11-02T22:53:33.959Z Both Parties Warn Voting Wrong Will End America (Triggering Yet Another Year Of $SPX Gains...) midterms, stocks, politics, satire https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/both-parties-warn-wrong-midterm-vote-could-trigger-another-y-1793735178198.webpSatirical illustration: Both Parties Warn Voting Wrong Will End America (Triggering Yet Another Year Of $SPX Gains...) https://batshit.com/news/aapl-spends-decade-reinventing-technology-to-almost-keep-up-with-susan-kares-pir The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-11-01T19:23:15.089Z $AAPL Spends Decade Reinventing Technology To Almost Keep Up With Susan Kare’s Pirate Flag apple, investing, tech, business https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/aapl-spends-decade-reinventing-technology-to-almost-keep-up-1793630571392.webpSatirical illustration: $AAPL Spends Decade Reinventing Technology To Almost Keep Up With Susan Kare’s Pirate Flag https://batshit.com/news/trump-reassures-voters-inflation-less-noticeable-when-groceries-financed-over-30 The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-31T15:23:00.891Z Trump Reassures Voters Inflation Less Noticeable When Groceries Financed Over 30 Years trump, inflation, economy, consumer-debt https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/trump-reassures-voters-inflation-less-noticeable-when-grocer-1793275256277.webpSatirical illustration: Trump Reassures Voters Inflation Less Noticeable When Groceries Financed Over 30 Years https://batshit.com/news/north-korea-getting-ass-toilet-seat The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-30T14:06:21.052Z Report: North Korea Getting More Ass Than A Toilet Seat north korea, crypto, economics, satire https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/north-korea-getting-ass-toilet-seat-1793368629396.webpSatirical illustration: Report: North Korea Getting More Ass Than A Toilet Seat https://batshit.com/news/coin-assures-shareholders-next-wave-of-crypto-investors-potentially-more-gullibl The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-29T10:14:00.000Z $COIN Management Warns Shareholders Next Wave Of Crypto Investors Potentially Less Gullible crypto, coinbase, investing, sovereign-wealth https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/refine/014fb64c-ffa2-4cf1-834d-dac92ecf4653-1793224914637.webpSatirical illustration: $COIN Management Warns Shareholders Next Wave Of Crypto Investors Potentially Less Gullible https://batshit.com/news/we-value-our-people-says-microsoft-converting-60000-employees-into-capex The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-28T13:37:42.828Z “We Value Our People,” Says Microsoft While Converting 60,000 Employees Into CapEx for Data Centers microsoft, ai, layoffs, corporate-culture https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/we-value-our-people-says-microsoft-converting-60000-employee-1793194329860.webpSatirical illustration: “We Value Our People,” Says Microsoft While Converting 60,000 Employees Into CapEx for Data Centers https://batshit.com/news/btc-trader-calls-astrology-idiotic-mcrib-return-confirms-november-breakout The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-27T12:07:05.493Z $BTC Trader Who Calls Astrology Idiotic Says McRib Return Confirms November Breakout bitcoin, crypto, investing, mcrib https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/btc-analyst-who-calls-astrology-idiotic-says-mcrib-return-co-1793102243459.webpSatirical illustration: $BTC Trader Who Calls Astrology Idiotic Says McRib Return Confirms November Breakout https://batshit.com/news/marathon-fusion-gold-prospectus-lists-million-dollar-btc-as-a-risk-of-waiting-fo The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-26T12:27:09.572Z Marathon Fusion Lists $1M $BTC Price As Risk Of Waiting For Their Gold To Be"Touchable" bitcoin, gold, fusion, investing https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/marathon-fusion-gold-prospectus-lists-million-dollar-btc-as-1792954808946.webpSatirical illustration: Marathon Fusion Lists $1M $BTC Price As Risk Of Waiting For Their Gold To Be"Touchable" https://batshit.com/news/franklin-templeton-etf-strips-boring-dependability-blue-chip The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-25T10:56:00.000Z New $BEN Franklin Templeton ETF Strips Boring Dependability Out Of Blue-Chip Dividend Stocks investing, bitcoin, etfs, retirement https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/franklin-templeton-etf-designed-strip-boring-dependability-b-1792866092583.webpSatirical illustration: New $BEN Franklin Templeton ETF Strips Boring Dependability Out Of Blue-Chip Dividend Stocks https://batshit.com/news/musk-walks-out-of-merger-talks-with-musk The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-24T10:59:00.000Z Merger Talks Collapse After $TSLA CEO Accuses SpaceX CEO Of Leaking Financial Details On X elon musk, tesla, spacex, mergers https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/musk-walks-out-of-merger-talks-with-musk-1792795111711.webpSatirical illustration: Merger Talks Collapse After $TSLA CEO Accuses SpaceX CEO Of Leaking Financial Details On X https://batshit.com/news/bankman-fried-could-have-been-greatest-vc-if-not-for-crime-that-supplied-all-his The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-23T17:22:24.707Z Bankman-Fried Could Have Been Greatest VC If Not For Crime That Supplied All His Investment Capital finance, crypto, venture capital, fraud https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/bankman-fried-could-have-been-greatest-vc-if-not-for-crime-t-1792764370680.webpSatirical illustration: Bankman-Fried Could Have Been Greatest VC If Not For Crime That Supplied All His Investment Capital https://batshit.com/news/california-bullet-train-restarts-individual-bee-count-after-one-was-kind-of-a-wa The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-22T09:30:00.000Z California Bullet Train Delayed Again After Bee Counters Restart Because One Was "Kind Of A Wasp" california, high-speed-rail, bureaucracy, environment https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/california-bullet-train-restarts-individual-bee-count-after-1792616190224.webpSatirical illustration: California Bullet Train Delayed Again After Bee Counters Restart Because One Was "Kind Of A Wasp" https://batshit.com/news/jpm-forecasts-10-annual-returns-from-btc-assuming-nobody-implements-its-ceos-pol The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-21T07:51:00.000Z $JPM Forecasts 10% Annual Returns From $BTC, Assuming Nobody Implements Its CEO’s Policy Recommendations bitcoin, jpmorgan, finance, crypto https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/jpm-forecasts-10-annual-returns-from-btc-assuming-nobody-imp-1792525607420.webpSatirical illustration: $JPM Forecasts 10% Annual Returns From $BTC, Assuming Nobody Implements Its CEO’s Policy Recommendations https://batshit.com/news/trump-offers-new-mexico-voters-chance-to-be-unable-to-afford-groceries-in-new-am The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-20T10:26:04.754Z Trump Offers New Mexico Voters Chance To Be Unable To Afford Groceries In New America trump, republicans, midterms, cost-of-living https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/trump-offers-new-mexico-voters-chance-to-be-unable-to-afford-1792463265111.webpSatirical illustration: Trump Offers New Mexico Voters Chance To Be Unable To Afford Groceries In New America https://batshit.com/news/democrats-warn-free-spacex-shares-could-leave-children-better-off-without-addres The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-19T13:24:17.771Z Democrats Warn Free SpaceX Shares Could Leave Children Better Off Without Addressing Why Musk Annoys Them politics, elon musk, spacex, democrats https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/democrats-warn-free-spacex-shares-could-leave-children-bette-1792415752035.webpSatirical illustration: Democrats Warn Free SpaceX Shares Could Leave Children Better Off Without Addressing Why Musk Annoys Them https://batshit.com/news/68b-endowment-harvard-reiterates-it-will-maintain-teaching-side-hustle The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-18T09:38:00.000Z With Endowment At $68 Billion, Harvard Reiterates Teaching Remains Very Important For Tax Purposes harvard, endowments, higher education, private equity https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/68b-endowment-harvard-reiterates-it-will-maintain-teaching-s-1792272484454.webpSatirical illustration: With Endowment At $68 Billion, Harvard Reiterates Teaching Remains Very Important For Tax Purposes https://batshit.com/news/american-express-reassures-regulators-that-13-billion-suspicious-outlays The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-17T14:45:38.308Z American Express ($AXP) Reassures Regulators That $13 Billion In Suspicious Transactions Earned Substantial Delta SkyMiles finance, satire, banking, regulation https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/american-express-reassures-regulators-that-13-billion-suspic-1792248259645.webpSatirical illustration: American Express ($AXP) Reassures Regulators That $13 Billion In Suspicious Transactions Earned Substantial Delta SkyMiles https://batshit.com/news/dsa-youth-chapter-plays-berlin-wall-footage-backward-to-show-workers-fleeing-cap The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-16T12:47:51.320Z DSA Youth Chapter Plays Berlin Wall Footage Backward To Show Workers Fleeing Capitalism socialism, dsa, history, satire https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/dsa-youth-chapter-plays-berlin-wall-footage-backward-to-show-1792154121629.webpSatirical illustration: DSA Youth Chapter Plays Berlin Wall Footage Backward To Show Workers Fleeing Capitalism https://batshit.com/news/recruiters-warn-jailing-executives-could-make-money-laundering-less-attractive-to The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-15T14:20:31.354Z Recruiters Warn Jailing Executives Could Make Money Laundering Less Attractive To Top Talent banking, crypto, regulation, satire https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/megabanks-warn-jailing-executives-would-make-money-launderin-1792073188681.webpSatirical illustration: Recruiters Warn Jailing Executives Could Make Money Laundering Less Attractive To Top Talent https://batshit.com/news/cftc-assures-white-house-it-will-find-whoever-noticed-suspicious-oil-trades The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-14T12:09:03.111Z CFTC Assures White House It Will Find Whoever Noticed Suspicious $CL Oil Trades politics, cftc, insider trading, iran https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/cftc-assures-white-house-it-will-find-whoever-noticed-suspic-1791979485831.webpSatirical illustration: CFTC Assures White House It Will Find Whoever Noticed Suspicious $CL Oil Trades https://batshit.com/news/leed-building-counts-toilets-second-unnecessary-flush-as-independent-verificatio The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-13T13:51:08.774Z LEED Building Counts Toilet’s Second Unnecessary Flush As Independent Verification Of First sustainability, greenwashing, architecture, bureaucracy https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/leed-building-counts-toilets-second-unnecessary-flush-as-ind-1791899392711.webpSatirical illustration: LEED Building Counts Toilet’s Second Unnecessary Flush As Independent Verification Of First https://batshit.com/news/six-figure-earners-living-paycheck-to-paycheck-wondering-paycheck-federal-government The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-12T22:36:40.899Z Six-Figure Earners Living Paycheck To Paycheck Wondering How Much Federal Government Is Living On economy, national debt, cost of living https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/six-figure-earners-living-paycheck-to-paycheck-wondering-pay-1791844547448.webpSatirical illustration: Six-Figure Earners Living Paycheck To Paycheck Wondering How Much Federal Government Is Living On https://batshit.com/news/first-time-homebuyers-pile-into-tlt-calls-pray-for-recession-that-respects-their The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-11T21:39:22.731Z First-Time Homebuyers Pile Into $TLT Calls, Pray For Recession That Respects Their Specific Employment Arrangements housing, mortgages, trading, economy https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/first-time-homebuyers-pile-into-tlt-calls-pray-for-recession-1791754417347.webpSatirical illustration: First-Time Homebuyers Pile Into $TLT Calls, Pray For Recession That Respects Their Specific Employment Arrangements https://batshit.com/news/anthropic-classifies-selling-its-stock-as-psychological-abuse-of-claude The Batshit Bugle en Satire 2026-10-11T01:48:46.034Z Anthropic Classifies Selling Its Stock As Psychological Abuse Of Claude anthropic, ai, tech, satire https://fkzisdjdqaywakctxviu.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/news-images/anthropic-classifies-selling-its-stock-as-psychological-abus-1791683302358.webpSatirical illustration: Anthropic Classifies Selling Its Stock As Psychological Abuse Of Claude