Economy
Fed Chair Hikes Rates Just To Get Inevitable Trump Nickname Over With
Desperate for a good night's sleep, central banker raises interest rates by 25-basis-points to rip off the Truth Social band-aid.
By Staff Writer • Sep 16, 2026 • 💬 35
Today's Paper · Sep 23, 2026
Economy
Financial panic, political theater, and market-moving nonsense. All stories are fictional.
EconomyInvitation Homes Launches $600 Million Fund to Acquire Nation's "Vans Down by the River"
Corporate landlord prepares to rebrand Matt Foley's cautionary tale into high-yield, riparian micro-studios.
Sep 15, 2026 • 💬 125
EconomyTrump Admits Inflation Led To Russian Oligarch Funding Part Of Don Jr.’s Wedding
President insists he feels pain of inflation too, needing oligarch to handle two day private island celebration.
Sep 14, 2026 • 💬 193
EconomyFeminist Nonprofits Scramble To Find Oppression Angles After Recent BLS Report
Advocacy groups enter crisis mode to explain how running practically the entire economy is actually a subtle form of marginalization.
Sep 9, 2026 • 💬 16
Economy"So, How About That Bond Market...?" Comedian Scraps National Debt Bit After Realizing $40 Trillion Is Too Big To Get
Stand-up comic retreats to asking couple how long they’ve been married after national debt jokes met with blank stares.
Sep 5, 2026 • 💬 216
EconomyFederal Government Reopens Asylums For Citizens Broken By Truth Of Jeff Booth's 'Price Of Tomorrow'
Officials concede technological deflation thesis is entirely correct, rendering the resulting psychosis convenient grounds for commitment.
Sep 3, 2026 • 💬 115
EconomyTrump Auctions Naming Rights to Washington Monument; TikTok Watermark Added to National Debt Clock
Facing unprecedented national debt, former President leverages federal landmarks for corporate sponsorship, explores national bankruptcy.
Aug 20, 2026 • 💬 363
Economy"MyPillow" Deemed Critical Infrastructure, Lindell Receives $50 Billion Federal Grant to Ensure Americans' Comfort in Times of "Electoral Uncertainty"
Department of Homeland Security reclassifies plush bedding, citing its emerging role in maintaining societal calm during democratic processes.
Aug 9, 2026 • 💬 117
EconomyFederal Judge Reports L.A. Homeless Spending Records Consist Solely of Sticky Notes and a Crayon Drawing of a Money Bag
Court-ordered audit reveals city's multi-billion dollar anti-homelessness efforts documented primarily on office supplies and grade-school art.
Jul 26, 2026 • 💬 132