Trump Admits Inflation Led To Russian Oligarch Funding Part Of Don Jr.’s Wedding

PHOENIX — Addressing a crowd of hourly workers on Monday, President Donald J. Trump assured the audience that he feels their pain when it comes to rising prices.

Indeed, he shared a personal story about how inflation recently forced his own son, Donald Trump Jr., let a Russian oligarch cover a portion of his wedding.

“It's terrible. You go to the store, bacon is through the roof, eggs are through the roof... Nobody understands that better than me,” Trump said.

“Don Jr. and Bettina wanted a full two day celebration on a private island in the Bahamas. They wanted the ice sculpture. You should have seen the ice. Beautiful ice, the clearest ice you’ve ever seen...

"But the estimates came back, and I looked at Donny and I said, ‘Donny, we’re tightening our belts.

"Maybe call Umar.’”

Trump noted that accepting such a generous gift from a close ally of Vladimir Putin with deep ties to Gazprom was fundamentally no different from buying generic dish soap from Stop & Shop.

“Every father in this room knows what it’s like when you’re looking at the budget for the reception and you have to swallow your pride,” Trump continued. “You don't want to ask the head of the International Boxing Association to handle a champagne wall and two hour fireworks show, believe me. But the economics of it just make you pick up a burner phone like any normal American.”

White House Communications Coordinator Katherine Cheatham reiterated the message to reporters afterward, stressing that the president maintains deep empathy for working-class households.

“We are all weathering this economic storm together,” Cheatham explained.

Trump concluded his remarks by advising attendees to trim their own household budgets by launching a memecoin or auctioning off the development and naming rights to chains of hotels they may own.