Boston Fed Offers Local Man Salaried Position After He Unmasks Inflation's True Nature

BOSTON, MA – In a move that has shocked local economists, Joseph Schmitt, a 47-year-old appliance repair technician from Revere, was offered a position at the prestigious Federal Reserve Bank of Boston after accurately identifying what he termed "the invisible wealth transfer mechanism" commonly known as inflation.

Schmitt, who reportedly had a breakthrough after spending his afternoon attempting to purchase a single sheet of plywood for less than $90, made an impassioned public rant to an acquaintance at a local Home Depot.

"Duke, it's not that your house is going up in value," Schmitt explained, gesturing wildly with a tape measure to friend and fellow shopper, Duke Cook, 62.

"It's simply that your dollars are worth less!

“Supply and demand is economics 101… These people have literal access to an actual money printer, and they’ve been printing money like it’s going out of style for the past 20 years!

"They deliberately use fancy terms like 'yield curve control' and 'inflation', like the value of a dollar is some scientific natural law or based on physics... Meanwhile we suffer the clandestine devaluation of our fiat currency and they benefit from the pre-inflationary Cantillon effect to prop up their cronies!"

Witnesses report that Cook, a retired plumber from Worcester, nodded somewhat slowly… Seemingly out of politeness. But Schmitt’s exclamations somehow reached the ears of senior Federal Reserve officials.

"We normally operate from the position that it's not theft if you use big enough words... However, Mr. Schmitt's public enthusiasm, though perhaps unrefined in its academic articulation, demonstrated a surprising grasp of certain… stealth fiscal and macroeconomic truths," stated Piet Rizzo, Director of Public Perception and Economic Narrative Management at the Boston Fed.

"Indeed, his ability to see through the various layers of economic jargon and correctly identify the fundamental transfer of power from the working class to certain vested institutional interests was quite...

"...Disorienting."

While details remain vague on the nature of the Schmitt's position, sources suggest his primary role may be to act as a paid liaison and to provide "the perspective of the common man" during high-level discussions about discretionary monetary policy, presumably to ensure future 'stealth wealth transfers' are executed with maximum plausible deniability.

"I just told Duke and anyone within earshot what everyone with two eyes and a grocery bill already knows," Schmitt said, still somewhat dazed by the offer.

"Then my cellphone starts ringing. I picked up and heard a steady voice say, 'Joseph, you're either a genius or completely insane...

"Either way, we need you on the team.'"

Schmitt confirmed that initially he hesitated in accepting the position after remembering having once read "Confessions of an Economic Hitman". However, he said he ultimately accepted, partly because his appliance repair and handyman business has slowed, and partly because "they promised me free coffee and told me I could take home any old color printers they had."

He is currently attempting to understand the difference between a credit default swap, quantitative easing and "just giving rich people more money."