Today's Paper · Oct 7, 2026
Satire about the economy: inflation, interest rates, the Fed, jobs reports and the national debt, as told by people who definitely did the math. All stories are fictional.
Job applicants willing to become historical artifact in exchange for a room, lunch, and permission to finish the newspaper.
By Staff Writer • Oct 7, 2026 • 💬 228
EconomyDesperate for a good night's sleep, central banker raises interest rates by 25-basis-points to rip off the Truth Social band-aid.
Sep 16, 2026 • 💬 35
EconomyCorporate landlord prepares to rebrand Matt Foley's cautionary tale into high-yield, riparian micro-studios.
Sep 15, 2026 • 💬 125
EconomyPresident insists he feels pain of inflation too, needing oligarch to handle two day private island celebration.
Sep 14, 2026 • 💬 193
EconomyAdvocacy groups enter crisis mode to explain how running practically the entire economy is actually a subtle form of marginalization.
Sep 9, 2026 • 💬 16
EconomyStand-up comic retreats to asking couple how long they’ve been married after national debt jokes met with blank stares.
Sep 5, 2026 • 💬 216
EconomyOfficials concede technological deflation thesis is entirely correct, rendering the resulting psychosis convenient grounds for commitment.
Sep 3, 2026 • 💬 115
EconomyFacing unprecedented national debt, former President leverages federal landmarks for corporate sponsorship, explores national bankruptcy.
Aug 20, 2026 • 💬 363
EconomyDepartment of Homeland Security reclassifies plush bedding, citing its emerging role in maintaining societal calm during democratic processes.
Aug 9, 2026 • 💬 117
Court-ordered audit reveals city's multi-billion dollar anti-homelessness efforts documented primarily on office supplies and grade-school art.
Jul 26, 2026 • 💬 132
