SatireCalifornia Bullet Train Delayed Again After Bee Counters Restart Because One Was "Kind Of A Wasp"
Officials say 130,000 pages of environmental review simply cannot support a train built on "bee uncertainty".
SACRAMENTO, CA — California’s bullet train returned its official bee count to zero Wednesday after an environmental consultant described insect No. 4,412 as “kind of a wasp”.
The high speed rail project record includes 130,000 pages of environmental reviews, $677 million in fees and costs, and a $480,000 change order to hand-dig mammal burrows.
“I mean, yes, we can subtract one from a number,” said habitat verification director Heather Betancourt. “What we cannot do is base the integrity of the entire bee count if people can't tell wasps from bees.”
Further friction arose during a planning session when a field surveyor was caught on a 'hot mic' joking that Governor Gavin Newsom was the "WASP" in question... However, after a brief delay, he was informed that the governor is technically Irish Catholic.
Under the revised protocol, counters will return to the first bee, confirm its identity, and obtain a second observer’s initials before approaching the next bee.
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