New Elizabeth Holmes Movie Slapped With NC-17 Rating Over Suffocating Sexual Tension With Nathan Fielder

LOS ANGELES — The promotional rollout for You Can See Everything, the voyeuristic docuseries chronicling the delusional sincerity of Theranos founder, Elizabeth Holmes, hit an unexpected roadblock Monday after the Motion Picture Association slapped the project with a rare NC-17 rating.

In defending their decision, the Association cited the suffocating, near-lethal on-screen sexual tension between the convicted fraudster and co-director Nathan Fielder.

Indeed, earlier that day, local law enforcement were dispatched to an industry test screening in Santa Monica where they detained three patrons for open lewdness during one climactic sequence in which audience members proved unable to contain themselves.

The scene in question featured little dialogue, focusing exclusively on the pair staring unblinkingly into each others' eyes... Their shared glance did more work than any sentence in the English language could have, while Holmes absently rocks her baby with one foot.

Every movement of her gentle rocking sent the director a painfully fluent message that, at that moment, Elizabeth was more comfortable in her skeleton than she had ever been.

Nathan just sits there, staring, silently coiled... His eyes taking inventory of the situation, inch by humiliating inch.

“I just, I didn’t know she was so fucking hot,” commented Nelson Furbish, who attended the disrupted early screening.

“The way she was looking at Nathan, I… I...

“I’m sorry, will you excuse me? I need to run to the men’s room.”

The project, co-directed by Fielder alongside filmmaker Lance Oppenheim, featured an initial teaser trailer consisting of a three-minute macro close-up in which Fielder's and Holmes's faces are roughly two inches apart.

"I anticipated an examination of Silicon Valley wealth and investor gullibility," said festival goer Donna Burnham, who attended the early screening.

“Instead, we were subjected to an almost inappropriate level of sexual restraining, like a rope taking on more weight than it was rated for... Every time Elizabeth looked away and then looked back at Nathan, another fiber gave.

"She knew it. He knew it... Oh my god... The knowing became its own kind of touch.

"Please pardon me for a moment..."

Fielder and Oppenheim vigorously defended the film's stifling eroticism as a legitimate cinematic choice, dismissing the ratings board’s intervention as a puritanical misreading of their tendentious interrogation of corporate charisma.

However, neither the MPA nor the director was willing to budge.

Nathan's dismissal of the rating board's intervention felt like he was swallowing a dare.

The screening room had been quiet enough for the MPA to hear the wet click of his swallow...

The MPA knew to reconsider would be a betrayal. Any less puritanical a reading, akin to mercy... And it wasn't ready to offer him that.

No... Not yet.