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    Merger Talks Collapse After $TSLA CEO Accuses SpaceX CEO Of Leaking Financial Details On X — Batshit Bugle satirical news illustrationSatire

    Merger Talks Collapse After $TSLA CEO Accuses SpaceX CEO Of Leaking Financial Details On X

    Tesla chief insults SpaceX chief, refusing to negotiate under pressure he created.

    By Staff Writer
    •

    AUSTIN, TX — Elon Musk walked out of merger negotiations with himself Friday, then returned to inform himself that his absence had been an insult, interpreting it as a rejection of terms.

    The Tesla CEO then immediately questioned the SpaceX CEO's proposed incentive package, prompting the SpaceX CEO to leave in protest.

    "I fart in your general direction...!!" Elon said, as he stormed out.

    “Elon won’t reward brinkmanship,” said transaction counsel Darlene Dvorak, who had been instructed to remain seated so someone could witness both sides negotiating in good faith.

    “Nor will Elon stand for being bullied, especially by himself...”

    Discussions surrounding the highly anticipated merger broke down further after Musk accused Musk of leaking confidential financial details on X. Musk denied the allegation on X, attaching the confidential details to establish which details he had not leaked.

    "This aggression will not stand, man...", Elon said to himself.

    By noon, Musk demanded retroactive exclusivity while leveling an ultimatum that, if his demands were not met, he would have to resort to a game of "rock, paper, scissors" to settle a competing offer from himself.

    #elon musk#tesla#spacex#mergers

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