SatireSix-Figure Earners Living Paycheck To Paycheck Wondering How Much Federal Government Is Living On
Aware of Federal shortfall, Americans earning $200,000 would like to know where Washington picks up its extra shifts.
ARLINGTON, VA — After acknowledging that his $240,000 salary barely covered housing, childcare, groceries, and insurance, software salesperson Cody Matheson wondered Monday about the size of the federal government's paycheck, and how it expected to clear its mounting national debt.
“I’m not judging,” Matheson said. “I'm just curious whether they have another source of income, you know, aside from taxes, that I haven’t accounted for.”
Matheson, who recently postponed a dental crown until after his car insurance renewal, said he learned about how the federal balance sheet works at a recent visit to the Museum of Retirement... While there he discovered that Washington collects roughly $5 trillion in tax receipts annually, but spends around $7 trillion... However, they can effortlessly paper over the shortfall by printing money through auctioning debt securities.
Matheson befriended fellow museum-goer and six-figure earner, Brooke Hall, while reading about how the Federal Reserve works.
Hall, who makes nearly $300,000, said she and her family still feel squeezed by the surging cost of living. She confirmed that her family had stopped ordering delivery, switched phone plans, got rid of a car, and had begun comparing the price per half gallon of milk and per ounce of shredded cheese amid a welter of recurring monthly bills...
Hall and Matheson considered whether the Treasury ever tried similar things on a larger scale before issuing another batch of bonds.
Matheson mentioned to Hall that his bank had recently denied a request to increase to his credit limit because his income had not also increased...
“It seems like we both try really hard not to spend more than we take in,” Hall said. “But the President gets to call the Treasury and sell a bunch of bonds...
" When I call someone, it’s just my mom, and she's usually wondering if she can borrow a few grand.”
The Bugle's Inspiration
The hint of sweet truth behind the satire →
More from the Bugle
All Economy →Economy
New 'Museum of Retirement' Exhibit Receives 40,000 Applications For 'Man In Chair' PositionEconomy
Fed Chair Hikes Rates Just To Get Inevitable Trump Nickname Over WithEconomy
Trump Admits Inflation Led To Russian Oligarch Funding Part Of Don Jr.’s WeddingEconomy
Feminist Nonprofits Scramble To Find Oppression Angles After Recent BLS ReportLatest
First-Time Homebuyers Pile Into $TLT Calls, Pray For Recession That Respects Their Specific Employment ArrangementsCulture & Tech
Anthropic Classifies Selling Its Stock As Psychological Abuse Of Claude
No spam. Unsubscribe whenever the joke stops landing.
The Batshit Bugle is satire. We invent fake news quotes, sources, and story details for comedic effect. References to real public figures are intentional parody of public discourse and should not be mistaken for factual reporting. We occasionally make up names of characters for fake news stories... Any resemblance to actual people, living, dead or undead, is unintentional and coincidental.
