Struggling $DGE Launches 'Algebra Vodka' With ‘One Bottle = 17 Cans’ Campaign

LONDON — Attempting a turnaround after missing out on the ready-to-drink cocktails trend, Diageo ($DGE) unveiled "Algebra Vodka" along with a new awareness campaign to woo younger drinkers who’ve switched to the more convenient RTD cans.

"We know young people are struggling financially... So, our goal was basically to explain that one $17 bottle of Algebra Vodka makes about 17 drinks, while a 4-pack of RTD cocktail cans that costs $12 makes, like... 4," said brand strategist Colin Pemberton-Hale.

Early focus groups didn’t go well.

Several participants asked whether the equals sign meant the bottle came with cans. One 26-year-old said he “wasn’t dropping $17 on a bottle of 'fake Tito's' with prices like this,” then spent $12 on 4 cans of High Noon on his way out.

"I mean, everyone has heard of the 'Latte Factor'... the idea that you can save thousands of dollars over time by skipping a daily coffee and making your own," Pemberton-Hale explained. "This is simply the BuzzBallz factor. If consumers made their own mixed drinks at home instead of buying single-serving spheres at the bodega, the savings are prima facie massive."

At press time, focus group participants had rejected the campaign, concluding that a $17 bottle that lasted weeks was a luxury asset while four $3 cans was just responsible for daily budgeting.