SatireTrump Offers New Mexico Voters Chance To Be Unable To Afford Groceries In New America
Knowing the President cannot unilaterally rename a state, aids just smile and nod while quietly updating their LinkedIn profiles ahead of the midterms.
SANTA FE, NM — President Donald Trump offered voters relief from the high cost of living in New Mexico this week, proposing they instead struggle to afford groceries in New America.
“People tell us they can’t afford to live here anymore,” said Republican campaign adviser Jett Vanwinkle.
“Under the president’s plan, technically, they will no longer have to...”
While President Trump cannot unilaterally rename a state, aides described this as a mere technicality in his selfless quest to solve real problems for working families.
At press time, Republicans were preparing a post-mortem on potentially catastrophic midterm losses while simultaneously engaging in a heated debate about what types of decisions could have caused party support to vanish so quickly.
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The Batshit Bugle is satire. We invent fake news quotes, sources, and story details for comedic effect. References to real public figures are intentional parody of public discourse and should not be mistaken for factual reporting. We occasionally make up names of characters for fake news stories... Any resemblance to actual people, living, dead or undead, is unintentional and coincidental.