Voracious U.S. Energy Demand To Be Met By Leveraging "Indomitable American Will"

WASHINGTON D.C. – An emergency executive order issued yesterday by President Trump bans "any acquisition, importation, transfer, or installation" of foreign produced transformers, inverters, circuit breakers and other electrical equipment that could be used to sabotage US power plants and the electricity grid.

The president simultaneously released his new book, The Art of the Positive Energy Deal, a motivational opus and non-fiction hardcover co-authored by accomplished self-help author, Robert Kiyosaki, famous for the incredibly successful Rich Dad series.

The new book, which focuses on manifesting the country's collective ideas about abundant energy into reality, is required reading to comply with any clean energy tax incentives. It clearly outlines how the United States will meet its ambitious future energy demands through the national mobilization of pure willpower and positive thinking.

While critics point out that China currently supplies many of the components that make incremental U.S. energy production possible, the resulting supply chain vacuum, the authors suggest, will be filled by domestic manufacturing fueled by sheer collective optimism.

"America has always been powered by its spirit," stated Mr. Kiyosaki, Executive Director of the newly formed Department of Vibrational Energy (DoVE), during a press briefing held yesterday in a dimly lit conference room.

"With the insights from The Art of the Positive Energy Deal, we now understand that traditional energy grids are merely conduits for the true source:

"The indomitable American will.

"Why drill for oil when we can manifest megawatts? I'm doing it right now... This is the greatest country on Earth.

"Do you feel that?"

For instance, chapter 7, "The Tera-Watt Mindset," details certain meditation techniques and affirmations that are able to convert positive affirmations into quantifiable power. Indeed, the book suggests that by focusing intensely on economic prosperity and national greatness, citizens can literally "will" needed electricity into existence.

Others, mostly physicists and engineers, have voiced concerns. "While I applaud the sentiment of national unity, a country should not completely ignore the laws of physics required to develop utility infrastructure and distributed energy resources.

"For instance, a hydroelectric dam relies on a large body of water, lots of cement, mechanics and gravity, not good vibes," commented James Vanderpool, a distinguished professor of thermodynamics at MIT, speaking from his office powered by a small, but entirely tangible, nuclear reactor.

"As much as I wish we could, it's not possible to power a data center with a vision board, no matter how detailed your manifestation techniques are...

"Also, I think most of our bulletin board materials, such as cork, are imported from China."

Meanwhile, China, responding to the U.S. import bans, has retaliated with its own set of restrictions... This includes a prohibition on many things the Chinese would never have purchased in the first place, including American-made vehicles, robots, open source AI models, motivational posters, self-help audiobooks, and 'lucky' novelty socks.