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    Marathon Fusion Lists $1M $BTC Price As Risk Of Waiting For Their Gold To Be"Touchable" — Batshit Bugle satirical news illustrationSatire

    Marathon Fusion Lists $1M $BTC Price As Risk Of Waiting For Their Gold To Be"Touchable"

    The hard money byproduct of nuclear fusion has zero counterparty risk, aside from your DNA.

    By Staff Writer
    •

    Marathon Fusion’s prospectus warns goldbugs that $BTC could exceed $1 million per coin well before investors could even touch their competing store of value created from high-rate alchemy via nuclear fusion.

    The disclosure places Bitcoin’s power-law price projection ahead of production economics in its risk section, noting that fusion-created gold requires 6.2 to 17 years to shed sufficient radioactivity for handling.

    “Yes, we’ve demonstrated that mercury can become gold...” said investor relations director Armando Sandhu.

    “J.P. Morgan said money is gold and nothing else... Our gold is also money, it just prefers to sit in a lead-lined vault for a decade or more first, because the only thing worse than counterparty risk is the counterparty dying of radiation exposure while holding the asset.”

    An accompanying chart shows Bitcoin crossing $1 million while Marathon’s gold progresses from DO NOT TOUCH to CONSULT RADIATION SPECIALIST.

    A footnote acknowledges that while the power-law model is not a guarantee, it may be the document’s most thoroughly qualified financial assertion.

    #bitcoin#gold#fusion#investing

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