Montessori School Running Child Fight Club Breaks First Rule of Child Fight Club

AUSTIN, TX — Administrators at the Little Sprouts Montessori Academy in Fort Worth claim that a $1 million negligence lawsuit could have been avoided had staff simply observed the first rule of child fight club, which is that you do not talk about child fight club.

The facility, which faces multiple counts of child negligence, allegedly forced three and four-year-olds to bare-knuckle brawl in a padded reading nook.

However, the defendants maintain their failure was more communicative than operational.

"Kids these days need some toughening up… So, in my humble opinion, the developmental value of our non-voluntary, peer-led conflict resolution is not in question," said lead administrator Dina Wetzel, addressing reporters outside the courthouse.

"The breakdown occurred purely because someone in the chain of command violated the very clear rules regarding our code of silence.

"That person has been dealt with..."

According to the initial complaint, fights were scored according to a points system with rudimentary playground rules, but if a child was new to the daycare, they had to fight.

Attorneys representing the facility noted that while rumors of infant sparring had swirled around the local community for years, local authorities only became aware of the events after a teacher boasted about a matches results on social media.

"The teacher uploaded video of a preschooler nailing a sweet takedown followed by an omoplata on another kid… It was right before snack," explained academy board trustee Anthony Howard.

"That is an astonishing failure of institutional common sense."

At press time, local police reported that the Montessori school administrators responsible were nowhere to be found and Fort Worth was experiencing a town-wide blackout.